Fighting Contempt and Finding Compassion in Conflict

I am currently designing a workshop on conflict resolution, and it has been so gratifying to spend time on this topic. It is clear how much I have learned about conflict and resolving it constructively. It is extremely difficult to distill everything I've learned about conflict, people, groups and conflict resolution into an hour and a half.

It's also become apparent how much I've grown and learned as a person and a professional. This has been gratifying because much of the last ten years has been raising my self-awareness and making intentional choices to respond more constructively.

Because it has been on my mind, I've noticed examples everywhere of people in conflict. A family member was sharing her struggles with her children. I watched an office mate navigate a disagreement in real-time. I've read stories of people managing conflict online and a few quotes have stuck with me:

"We don't have an anger problem in American politics, we have a contempt problem."

-Arthur Brooks, AEI president sharing a lesson he

learned from the Dalai Lama.

"Find someone undeserving of your compassion and give it to them. They are the ones who need it most."

-Christian Picciolini, founder of Life after Hate

I am working hard to put together a workshop design that will offer tools and frameworks, stories and examples to help my participants improve their ability to support their teams in conflict. I want them to walk away with tangible tools they can use in a practical way.

But as I reflect on my experiences in conflict, I have been most successful when I was able to withhold contempt or judgement and remain compassionate for others. Several unpleasant memories remind me of when I lost my compassion and held onto my contempt. Most of those situations did not end well or were more stressful than they needed to be.

So I'll work to provide my participants with the tools and strategies they will find helpful, as well as a reminder to look at how they can use themselves to provide a calm and compassionate facilitator for their teams.

#conflict #conflictresolution #compassion #contempt #teammanagement #manager #leadership #selfawareness #constructiveconflict